By Joshua Burton
I was late on the Flappy Bird bandwagon, and it almost destroyed me. There had been a bunch of chatter going on about the highly addictive app, but with the sheer amount of anger, frustration, and outright violent activity that surrounded the game I decided to be too lazy to download the app and try it out. Yes, I’m selectively lazy. It works for me. But this time it almost cost me the experience of one of the biggest apps in the world.
In January I saw a video on YouTube that made me finally get off my high horse and install Flappy Bird on my phone. It’s wasn’t an exceptional video, but the fact that someone took the time to put it together meant even the amateur videographer was upset enough to give creative expression to the angst generated by the game.
A day later Flappy Bird was gone. My less-informed friends noticed me playing and tried to download it only to find it missing from the web. I did some searching and found, as we all did, that the app’s creator, Nguyễn Hà Đông, had pulled it from the iTunes store. The vacuum created by Flappy Bird’s disappearance was filled within days by a host of flappy wannabes. Here are the children of the bird – a small sample of games that have popped up since the demise of mother flappy. Some are great. Others are…well….
Hipsters unite! Finally something for the mustachioed facial hair aficionados (like myWebRoom’s president) to get excited about. Tired of fantastic adventures of realistic protagonists like birds? BE your mustache. AVOID the accursed shavers of doom that want to reduce your beautiful whiskers to stubble. Wow.
My love of Pop-Tarts, rainbows, and cats is evident in this flappy-knockoff. Nyan Cat will make me instantly love something, so this app got onto my phone pretty quickly.
Flapping Stars – Miley Wrecking Ball Edition
Guide Miley Cyrus’ disembodied head through the gaps in the pipes and collect hearts. If you really, really want to stare at a cartoon of Miley for hours on end…..go for it? Her stuck-out tongue is pretty hypnotic, I do admit.
Uh, this is a weird one – and that’s saying something. Guide naked people through the usual flappy gauntlet. Ok, “naked” is a bit extreme, but I don’t know what else to call people whose bits and parts are only covered in leaves. What IS cool about this is the multiplayer function so you can play with friends. I mean, not play WITH friends, but….you get the picture. The two-player option is pretty cool and adds a new layer of frustration as you now have someone else to worry about when it comes to the clunky control that’s the basis of all of these games.
Well, at least someone had the ingenuity to take this out of the sky and into the water, so I’ll give this app a place on the list. The Super Mario Bros. reference works for me, so I’ll get into the pool on this one.
Flappy Bird in a Box
Speaking of ingenuity, here’s a Flappy Bird that escaped from the video game and entered REAL LIFE. Check out the video below to see the real world Flappy Bird that will test your reflexes and put your crafting skills to shame.
This is a web-based app, but it’s pretty fun. Combine Flappy Bird with Pong and you get Flappy Balt. Keep the bird in flight as spiked walls shift up and down to try to tear it to shreds. This also instills a bit of claustrophobia, since all the action takes place on one screen. This one is different enough to be fun all over again.
First Person Flappy Bird
Now that we’re getting to the more terrifying flappy alternatives, here is a first person remix of the game. It’s just as clunky, but with the added confusion of being in 3D and first person. This probably is even more anxiety-filled because once you make it a first-person game, the player internalizes the situation and suddenly it’s a lesson in futility. This is available on web or for the surprisingly exciting Oculus Rift virtual reality headset. Heart attacks abound.
This is my favorite. It’s fast paced and has better control than the original Flappy Bird. It’s like putting Flappy Bird in a jet inside of an Atari-themed universe backed by some pretty intense electronic dance music. I can’t play this for very long any more because I’ve already lost hours to this game and can’t justify to myself the time I spend on it any more. Good luck.
Alright, so if you didn’t get on the flappy craze in time or if you just want to try something a little different than your everyday flappy experience, try out some new twists on the old flavor. If your fingers fall off after trying all of these out, myWebRoom takes no responsibility. Show some self control, people.
Know of any Flappy Bird remixes that weren’t mentioned? Sick of the game altogether? Give your opinions below in the comments.